Up and down

Up and down

“Try to say truth, if nothing else works”. / Jesper Juul
This sentence is here front of me, on the table of my friends´ computer corner. It helped me to start writing.

How it is to be on my way?
It is sometimes easy, sometimes hard. Sometimes I feel I have no roots, I build nothing up, I am lost. Next moment I know I am just on the right way, living the best life I can imagine. Sometimes I am angry – I want to be in Normal Relation with a Normal Man, have a Normal Family with him and then do Normal Job. Have a Normal Home. Next moment I feel I am so lucky that I have complicated situation to learn, learn, learn. Grow. Learn to love. Become a Human.

It is easy to feel unsure about my way, if I look around and compare myself with others. I can feel lonely then. But when I focus on myself, when I ask Life if everything is ok, then I get the answer that I am on the right way. I ask angels. I don´t see them directly, but I get often answers from them. This is why I am here now – I had a walk, I didn´t know to where I should go next, I asked the question and got the answer before I finished the question. This is how it often happens – I get the answer before I start to listen the answer, before I start to think. Answer often surprises me and is not so easy for me to go for. It is challance. Sometimes I am still not going ditectly there I am supposed to go, it takes 1-2 days to make the call or write SMS to person whos name I heard. Sometimes I don´t understand why I have to go to this place, to these people, but when I arrive, I know immediately that this is the best place to be right now. Then I feel happyness and gratefulness. Trust.

Another stop. Åsgatan café in Järna, Sweden

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