Well, we can imagine that we are making our life – that we have to decide, have to plan the future, make steps, but I see more and more how we have to let life happen. I have to take what comes and sometimes it means that I have to be in unconfortable situations: to go for example somewhere where I am afraid to go.
Right now I am coming from the place to where it was a bit unconfortable to go, but life gave me the possibility and I told “ok, I trust, I follow!”. Instead of it I could say :” I go there some other time”, “I will write them e-mail instead meeting them” or “It doesn´t seem to be my place.” This is just fear who talks. Fear for unknown, fear for changes. Sometimes I notice it and I can listen to life and take the opportunities, sometimes talks fear too loud. It is ok. To be weak, to follow fear is ok as well, then you can feel how it is to listen to fear.
Yesterday I followed my angel’s will and I got the place to sleep, some supper, I got to know 2 places where I could work and visited one place today. I am looking for job here and I let the life bring me right people and moments. It is much more fun to look how life plays with me than to go rationally through the job searching process. Play with life is surprising, it is fun and IT WORKS! You have to be ready and have to listen to your heart, or angel. 🙂 I want to learn to listen to my angel all the time, life is then so much easier.
Today ends my challenge to write from 17th of August to 17th of September! Was not always easy, but it was a nice challenge. I like to publish things even if my texts are not perfect, not always deep and full of wisdom or poetry. OK, I didn´t like it, but I learned to like it. I had to come out from “what to write today” and “I have nothing to say” thoughts. I often started my writing “I don´t know what to write”, but then something came up and I deleted this “I don´t know what to write” part.
Today when we had flight stop in Riga, I texted to some persons to find out to where in Sweden I should go, and it worked well. Susanne said she is in Arvika just at this time when the train I tought to take is arriving and she can pick me up. I thought it must be a good sign and I bought the ticket. Lilla Årbotten is waiting for me.
I will celebrate today. I am now in the train to Karlstad, so I think I will go to board restaurant and get something for myself.
So the time passes… I don´t understand why I should go away from here, but we leave this place tomorrow. Me and Christian are going to Sweden, Christian to one course, Matthias back home.
I don´t know yet to where in Sweden I go tomorrow, I don´t know where I will sleep next 3 nights. Shall I go to Järna or to Arvika? Stockholm? Is somebody waiting for me? What is calling me? I try to listen…
I have to write short, laptop´s battery is running empty and we didn´t have enough solar power today to charge it. Morning was quite light but in afternoon it started to rain.
I had courage today to take the boat and drive to the harbour alone. I am very proud. All went good, parking took time and I did it very slow, but it worked out. When I came back here I felt I am stronger than before.
Last night at 3 we arrived to the lake in Austria. It is a special place here on the water, houses are on the feet next to each other, in the middle of the lake, lake grass in between houses.
Night sky was full of stars, when we drove boat I was looking all the time up to the sky until my neck was numb.
We loaded stuff off from the boat and then jumped into lake. It was So Good. Water is warm here and same time fresh. Earlier times I was a person who didn´t like to swim, but now I enjoy it very much. Specially here, water is all around and it is easy to jump in.
Today, late in the morning, after deep good sleep, I joined Christian to the harbour, he wanted to go to shopping and I wanted to go to jogging.
I ran from the harbour to the town called Rust, not so far away. First I didn´t know to where I run, but then I remembered a nice church garden and I went there. Made a brake under the trees, told one prayer and then ran back to the harbour. Maybe I have courage to take boat tomorrow and do the same. I never took this boat alone, I am not so good in parking.