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Category: Memorianum

In Hagalund

In Hagalund

I had a rich day today. I slept out, then watched how branches were dancing in the wind behind my window, then I went jogging and on the way I passed by the lake, so I went to swim. Howww good it was! I was so thankful that I had to sing. Bright September light, warm wind, fresh water.

Later we cleaned up the old school house with Susanne, took care of cows. I cleaned up one small hut where many ants were living in the summer, now it is clean.

Now I wrote many e-mails and facebook messages to invite people to take part of beneficence to support children in Dahab. 300 Egyptian pounds are 15 EUR, so this is the cost for one child to go to school and get all she/her needs during one school year. We are now 4 persons who want to take part. School starts in 5 days and I don´t know if I can get 10 persons together. I try to not to get stressed. Right now my shoulders are a bit tense and I should go to sleep. I do that.

I am so happy today! Happy to be here, happy that I have possibility to enjoy the life.

I would like to give to you some of my happiness.

Met this guy today, he came into Barbara´s kitchen and we had a talk. He said he has written 300 pages about his life, he was writing at home and then felt he has to go out and enjoy nice summer weather. I told him if he doesn´t get somebody to publish his autobiography, then he could publish it in Memorianum.

When I sat here in my office, rooster was passing by and had an suspicious eye on me.

Cleaning up.

Overview

Overview

Last days are one-image-days. I just take one photo or none. Art of letting it be like that…

Was a nice day, I had much enthusiasm and I was in flow. First I made my morning rituals and then I walked up to the bench to sit there and feel the day. There´s a nice bench surrounded by birch trees, you can see the village from there and forest. Every time I am there I think – when I come next time I take a knife or something sharp with me to clean the bench from moss. Tomorrow? Maybe when I write it here I will remember.

I was writing different texts for Memorianum and wrote to some friends and asked for translations. Let´s see if they like to translate. Text are very simple and not so official.

Help, so many moths in this flat! I don´t know how many I catched already. The best to catch them is with wet hands. I was reading that they help to get rid of things, if you have a tendency to collect too much stuff and not borrow out or give away or use them yourself, then the moths will help you. Good point! I have it always pitty to give away things which I haven´t used. Shame. I have still half of my stuff in Berlin. Do I miss them? Nope. Have to clean up.

Today we celebrated Christian´s birthday with his workers and family, had many cakes, made some Pär Ahlbom games and then Christian played sound table for everyone. Nice event, would like to have such a meeting once in the month.

Now some steamed vegetables and then I go to bed direction.

 

Malin och Jag

Malin och Jag

Day was passing so fast today. After this slow nice weekend + long-sleeping today, I am ready to go on with my morning challenge – to wake up from 5AM or 6AM. Cloud of tiredness is slowly leaving and I can feel how my will power is coming back. Juhhei!

I was jogging today a bit and I was surprised about these nice views from the field roads. I knew that it might be good to run there, but I didn´t now that all the forests and villages are so good to see from there. Nice! Very good motivation to run there. In Berlin I ran every day and it was my need, I felt how my happiness was shaken on life when I was jogging. Today I was a bit out of form but anyway, happiness was waking up enough.

I cooked today some nice oven vegetables. Booked some tickets. Made some cloth-washing. Tiny bit Memorianum. Some e-mails.

Asked people to support Malin.

I was thinking today about how important it is to do good for each other. Send a post card, greeting, give some attention. Support. Help. We are here for each other.

Tired

Tired

Today I was so tired. And freezing. Eyes were hurting. I just wanted to make myself very tiny and be somewhere in warmth and softness.

Took no photos. Only this one.

Now we are on the train to Munich to celebrate Christian’s birthday which is tomorrow.

I make this post in my mobile phone.

Today I got the translation from Kristel for Memorianum, so, story of Emma is now also in Estonian! This was the highlight of the day. www.memorianum.net

Next highlight will be when I fall in bed.

Hugs! Kallid! Kram!

 

To remember

To remember

I think all the time about Memorianum. I am drawing the plans of perfect, fantastic website which is moving like a video game, asking friends to help with translations, writing down all the to-do´s. Sending out some question formulars.

I have been so much an idea-person, I don´t completely believe that this project will be like I see it can be, but I ingnore this feeling and just keep going. Maybe I am changed, maybe I can bring things on the ground now with help of others. Maybe I always tried to do everything alone and wanted to have all the good attention on me and so I never managed things alone and stopped. Now I see that this project is needed and I would myself love to visit this website, if somebody wants to steal the idea – please do that! It can be a nice database of lifestories, funny situations out of life, descriptions of talents, about what other people learned about those persons who´s stories are up there.

Do you have somebody who is not here on the Earth anymore but you remember him/her well and you want to write this person into human history? Can be simple memories. Your grandmother with funny sayings, some nice photos? Traditions? Maybe your grandparents are still living and you want to ask them about their life?

Time to have a green drink. Thursday celebration between workingtime.

Outside office.

Outside food.

A bit

A bit

Today is the day with less will power. Can´t sit down too long time, I have to move and stretch to keep myself fresh, awake.

Woke up at 5, it was still dark and rain was falling on wagon´s roof. I did my rituals and then made fire in the oven. Nights are quite cold now.

Walked through the rain to the office house and had some computer time.
I work a bit here and a bit there and I feel I do nothing. A bit everything. When I described to Iris about this habit to do everything a bit and nothing in deep way, she said I have fear to have the relationship to one thing. It is about intimicy. Learn to know something in deep way, grow together, dive in. So, here I am and doing my best. A bit here and a bit there.

I took Memorianum up again some days ago and I go on with it. Memorianum.net is there, first story is there, written by Anneli Lees. It has no design, no form, just exists there. I would like that somebody understands the idea and starts to make it, I feel it is too big for me.
Have to write clear project out of that, then it is possible that someone catches it. It is important to remember people.

One moment I started to ask my father about his life and I understood I know nothing about his life. I never asked! I thought I know everything. I don´t know why I thought so. I have now planned an interview with him, to ask ask ask. In October. Many things happens in October, in my mind.

It is undangerous to be visible!

Today I made a cup of cocoa for Christian and I wanted to bring it to him. He had 2 workers in the office as well, so I started to go, was behind the door and then I didn´t go in. Was uncomfortable feeling. Is it ok to bring cocoa when others are also there? Only for him? I show my relation to him when I go there, it is uncomfortable. I passed by the door several times, going there and then turning around. Felt like a shy child. I went to kitchen and then Christian came there, he catches such things quite good from atmosphere. He saved me from my trouble.

Have a good new week! And every singel day of your life.

 

34,5

34,5

It is easier to write when things are not alright, when something inside is restless and behind everyday life is taste of suffering. When I am satisfied and happy, I think it is too sweet and boring to write about it. This is what I am learning – it is ok to have it good.

So it is – I woke up at 6 again, had my rituals, had enough time to come out from sleep, melt together with the sunlight, greeted this brand new day with all the new possibilities. Storm and rain were gone, fresh air was pressing in through the curtains. Tasty.

Around 11AM I walked through Nõmme to get another driving lession. Teacher was kind and clear and it helped me to be relaxed, didn´t make many mistakes. Happiness was jumping in me when I was getting out from the car, I was shouting “Ciao!” for my teacher, he stopped for a while and then told “Good bye!”. Yesyesyesysessss I can drive! YEEEESSS!

I went to café to celebrate 34,5 years birthday of mine, took a coffee, wrote diary. Listened to one dialog next to me, between ~4 years old girl and her mother.

Girl is moving the straw in her milk to make some bubbles, she is telling happily about her bubble milk.

Mom: Don´t play with food!
Girl: But this is not food, it is milk.
Mom: It is food.
Girl: It is liquid.

Later I bought a new domain: memorianum.net. I started once with one project, but it felt so big that I stopped it. Now I start slowly again, I do so much I can.
It is about people who are not living anymore but who are not forgotten (yet). I see collection of life stories with photos, comments from different people, some photos, maybe sound, video… I don´t now yet how it all can function, but I know I have to do it.

Moon is rising, some airplanes as well. I am middle of packing, tomorrow I will be on the road again.

This is the view when I am sitting on toilet. Good place to medetate.