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Category: Iris Johansson

Tacit day

Tacit day

Today is a tacit day. Good for feeling myself – where I am, how I am.
I am much, even if it feels sometimes that I am blank and still. I am so much that I could fill up all the surrounding with myself if I would let all out what wants to come out. I am listening myself, hugging the small me when she gets afraid, letting her safely grow up.

We were 10 days in Dahab and I enjoyed it much. Sun light, friends, new contacts, talks with Iris… Learned again to know new sides of myself, never ending exciting journey. Tears in laughing face.

New 7 year period starts and I feel it with every cell of my body. Would like to shout. (Did it!).



Hello again, my lovely readers.
I am in Berlin for some more hours and then I take the train to Frankfurt – in the evening I am back in Langenhain for one week.

I have had different happenings in between – I got together 8400 Egyptian pounds for children in Dahab! So many people wanted to take part of this small action. It is so easy to do someting good, I recommend to try! Look around, look how far your hands are reaching to help somebody.

After Communication as Art course with Iris I travelled from Hagalund to Järna. Made some computer work in Åsgatan café. Filmed Malin´s process in studio. Became ill. Didn´t fly to Florence with Michael as it was planned because Ryanair had strike. Went to Dresten instead to watch Raphael´s painting. It was Michael´s birthday present to me. Was really touching to see this painting, stood long time there to feel it.
Went to ecstatic dance event and danced myself free. Had coffee time with Katja, warming. I have all I need in my life and 100 times more.
Now I have to go to the train, have it good!

10 together

10 together

Today I got together exactly 10 persons who want to give their helping hand for poor families in Dahab! I keep going, I know that there are more children who need this help, families in Egypt are big.

I think about people who are leading big projects to help thousands of children, and I am sitting here and so happy about these 10 I can help. Or, I could say I give possibility for others to help. I feel so small but so happy.

It is strong wind and rain outside and complete darkness. Day was sunny and bright and I managed to enjoy it so much as it was possible. I took all from it. Was jogging, swimming, drying myself up in the sunshine, shouting out my happiness into the wind, hands stretched out to the sky. Cleaned up small huts for the people who are coming tonight and some who already came. Sat on the top of the matresses in the tractor´s trailer while John Arild drove tractor to the school house. Picked apples. Ate food on the balcony, with the view over the lake and felt so special feeling about it – someone cooked and I could eat it, such a luxury! I had everything I need.

Now I put my stuff together, have to make my “office” empty because people are coming to stay here during the course.

Iris is coming tomorrow, Christian, Michael and many other lovely persons as well.



Today was again bang-bang-bang in the room where I slept, but it was a nicer reason (for me) – one birdchen was stucked inside. She flew against the windows (not too strong) and didn´t find the way out. I opened all the windows and it took some time until I got her out.

So, after that I was very awake and ready to start the day.

I wrote many e-mails today, organized events, tried to get some people to one course which Iris Johansson is doing with Elke and Torsten Grind in Malta. Course is not really a course, it is more like a healing event. Morning starts with sound therapy, then Iris makes some primary work and later is original play with Torsten. Sounds like a paradise for me, I think every year that next year I will take part. If you are interested, then write to me.

So. My shoulders are e-mail-tired. Need a bit massage tonight.
I had time to go for a walk. I had time to drive car. Had time to steam some vegetables. Look different tractors working. Had time to be really happy. Thankful. Happy again. Tomorrow I will travel to Cologne. Jah.

A bit

A bit

Today is the day with less will power. Can´t sit down too long time, I have to move and stretch to keep myself fresh, awake.

Woke up at 5, it was still dark and rain was falling on wagon´s roof. I did my rituals and then made fire in the oven. Nights are quite cold now.

Walked through the rain to the office house and had some computer time.
I work a bit here and a bit there and I feel I do nothing. A bit everything. When I described to Iris about this habit to do everything a bit and nothing in deep way, she said I have fear to have the relationship to one thing. It is about intimicy. Learn to know something in deep way, grow together, dive in. So, here I am and doing my best. A bit here and a bit there.

I took Memorianum up again some days ago and I go on with it. is there, first story is there, written by Anneli Lees. It has no design, no form, just exists there. I would like that somebody understands the idea and starts to make it, I feel it is too big for me.
Have to write clear project out of that, then it is possible that someone catches it. It is important to remember people.

One moment I started to ask my father about his life and I understood I know nothing about his life. I never asked! I thought I know everything. I don´t know why I thought so. I have now planned an interview with him, to ask ask ask. In October. Many things happens in October, in my mind.

It is undangerous to be visible!

Today I made a cup of cocoa for Christian and I wanted to bring it to him. He had 2 workers in the office as well, so I started to go, was behind the door and then I didn´t go in. Was uncomfortable feeling. Is it ok to bring cocoa when others are also there? Only for him? I show my relation to him when I go there, it is uncomfortable. I passed by the door several times, going there and then turning around. Felt like a shy child. I went to kitchen and then Christian came there, he catches such things quite good from atmosphere. He saved me from my trouble.

Have a good new week! And every singel day of your life.


18.08.18 Stayin´ Alive

18.08.18 Stayin´ Alive

I woke up today at 6AM, heard my alarm at 5AM as well, but I… don´t remember what happened.
I like mornings. I always liked, but only way for me to see summer morning was to stay up all the night until the morning. Waking up early was never my thing. I feel I still have stress from the school time – I always felt I don´t have enough rest. Now, after many years I still have some kind of wish to sleep out, even if I haven´t done much and I have nothing to sleep out.

I guess it was yesterday before sleeping when I got the thought – life is soo interesting, why I should sleep out from that? It gives lots of energy! Iris says we have 1000 times more energy than we use. I start to understand that. Me, the person, who loves to sleep until midday! So, I proudly present, here I greet sunrise:

For my mom it is not so special to wake up early, she likes her time alone, some coffee and reading, walking in the garden. Today she brought Teemu up to me because he was mad.

At 9 o´clock many things were done and I was ready to go to first aid course. Took a coffee from Reval Cafe and then had 4 hours course, which I liked very much. It is nice to listen to a person who knows her work. I was her partner when she showed things, so I learned extra. We listened to Bee Gees “Stayin´ Alive” to get right rhytm for heart massage. 4 hours were passing fast.

Around 3PM I got so tired and slept for 2 hours. Less sugar and coffe and i will be less tired, I guess. But let´s not be perfect!
Then we had some nice fresh rain. After the rain I played grass hockey with my brother, he was happy and me too.

I am again too late, have to learn to plan my time. Dad is visiting, wanted to talk to him and now writing also… But I feel alive! Let´s stay alive!

Time to come to Berlin

Time to come to Berlin

When things are getting a bit too complicated, it is time to come to Berlin.
To sit on the balcony and listen what Michael has to say to me. He tells me that my inner beauty is growing, tells me to let my weak sides be – just look at them and not to try to change them. I feel how my selfvalue is getting in balance again. I forgot it all. I wanted to change my weakness, I wanted to get rid of it.
I was just reading new book of Iris and there she told – we have our strong sides to take care of weak sides, then we can actually be strong. If I try to get rid of my weak sides then I am trying to be somebody else and then I am not strong.

I fotgot to be happy, I fall into small tiny box when I am there in this village. Sometimes I go out and dance in the forest, sometimes I pray – it helps! It is nothing wrong with village, with others – it is all about me. It is about how can I manage incompleteness of life. If I fight against it or I let all mistakes be in the sunlight until they dry up and wanish with the wind. Smile and go on. 🙂

Lorna Byrne said: “We should all remember how important it is to pray and our world is in need of prayers now more than ever. Today I am asking you all not to be embarrassed to pray, there is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. I am proud to say that I pray everyday.”

Sitting at the café and at this moment Nick Drake sings Northern Sky... Berlin, you welcome me well!

Midsummer flowers.