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Category: Christian

Tired

Tired

Today I was so tired. And freezing. Eyes were hurting. I just wanted to make myself very tiny and be somewhere in warmth and softness.

Took no photos. Only this one.

Now we are on the train to Munich to celebrate Christian’s birthday which is tomorrow.

I make this post in my mobile phone.

Today I got the translation from Kristel for Memorianum, so, story of Emma is now also in Estonian! This was the highlight of the day. www.memorianum.net

Next highlight will be when I fall in bed.

Hugs! Kallid! Kram!

 

A bit

A bit

Today is the day with less will power. Can´t sit down too long time, I have to move and stretch to keep myself fresh, awake.

Woke up at 5, it was still dark and rain was falling on wagon´s roof. I did my rituals and then made fire in the oven. Nights are quite cold now.

Walked through the rain to the office house and had some computer time.
I work a bit here and a bit there and I feel I do nothing. A bit everything. When I described to Iris about this habit to do everything a bit and nothing in deep way, she said I have fear to have the relationship to one thing. It is about intimicy. Learn to know something in deep way, grow together, dive in. So, here I am and doing my best. A bit here and a bit there.

I took Memorianum up again some days ago and I go on with it. Memorianum.net is there, first story is there, written by Anneli Lees. It has no design, no form, just exists there. I would like that somebody understands the idea and starts to make it, I feel it is too big for me.
Have to write clear project out of that, then it is possible that someone catches it. It is important to remember people.

One moment I started to ask my father about his life and I understood I know nothing about his life. I never asked! I thought I know everything. I don´t know why I thought so. I have now planned an interview with him, to ask ask ask. In October. Many things happens in October, in my mind.

It is undangerous to be visible!

Today I made a cup of cocoa for Christian and I wanted to bring it to him. He had 2 workers in the office as well, so I started to go, was behind the door and then I didn´t go in. Was uncomfortable feeling. Is it ok to bring cocoa when others are also there? Only for him? I show my relation to him when I go there, it is uncomfortable. I passed by the door several times, going there and then turning around. Felt like a shy child. I went to kitchen and then Christian came there, he catches such things quite good from atmosphere. He saved me from my trouble.

Have a good new week! And every singel day of your life.

 

Lagom

Lagom

In the morning I was dreaming about 2 guys who were travelling much, we sat around the big table and then I asked them won´t they like to write a book about their journey. I didn´t get the answer because I suddenly woke up. It was 5.35 and I thought it is the nice time to wake up.


I needed a small sleep middle of the day, when we drove around with Christian, so we had a brake on the forest road and took a nap.

We had one visit in the garden, where Christian was looking the works that were needed to do there. Next aim was to ask at driving school if I can drive car here in Germany with somebody who has driver´s license, but I can´t. Legally. Don´t tell anybody that I still drive sometimes with him somewhere between the fields and small roads.

When we drove to driving school, then we took the wrong way, but I thought maybe there´s a café on this wrong way, and I was right –  Christian knew there is a nice bio café at Hessnatur´s shop.


Today I thought about the idea to write two texts, first is this blog text which is kind of simple overview of some moments of my life, my thoughts, and then I could write another text, with all what is around and in it. My inner work in different situations in relations, more private details of beautiful life…

I feel I don´t  want to open everything for others to klick and consume. Sometimes I feel I hide too much, I don´t show enough and if I am only little bit open – then it is not this and not that – it is lagom, sufficent. This second text with deeper layers, it could be something I send directly to people, not put it up on internet. Those who are reading my blog can see then what is going on beside, behind, in, around this what I share here. Can be surprising. For me and others.

I invited some friends to read my blog – hello to you! I have not many who are reading my blog right now, so those readers who I don´t know personally are very special as well, hello to you, too! I am glad that you are here.